Religious Autobiography

Religion is a concept that we are all continually exposed on a daily basis in life, and whether we want to consume it or not, it is something we are constantly surrounded by. On a constant basis we hear rhetoric relating to it, and as most issues hold some moral or religiously grounded link, it is frequently seen as a controversial discipline that we all have our own unique ideas and thoughts about. Personally, I have both heard and witnessed a wide range of ideas and concepts that encompass numerous religious practices throughout the course of my life, and these have been the core concepts that have shaped my own religious foundations.
If I look at my own faith, and try to depict my own thoughts on the discipline, although I have heard a wide range of different theologies, I would classify myself as an atheist or non believer. Even though I have been exposed to numerous religious practices during my upbringing, the knowledge that I have and belief system I depend on, makes me sceptical that a God like figure can fundamentally exist. With my knowledge base of the way the world works, I see God as an illogical ideology, and think that there is a lack of empirical `evidence to say that he is the Supreme Being. This issue is something that I frequently think about and am confused by however, and overall I wish it was something we all had more definitive answers to.
As I grew up in England until the age of 18, my socialization regarding religion is sure to be different the majority of Americans. England is a nation that has large cultural diversity within the population, and as a result of this, the same thing can be seen within religious settings and beliefs as well. Although the UK is primarily regarded as a Protestant nation, over recent times many other religions, especially Islam, have doubled in stature, and nowadays we see temples and mosques popping up all over our towns and cities. Like here in America however, England is a place where an individual has freedom over their religious beliefs, and there is not one pre-established faith in which the masses are expected to follow. This therefore, gives every individual the right to discover and create his/her own ideologies, and a result we have ended up shaping our personal theologies, ending up being able to shape our own unique belief systems. As a result of this, the majority of us have been influenced by our socialization processes whilst growing up, and I would say that for me personally, the main factors which led to the shaping of my religious identity were the influences of my family, my friends, school and the media.
One of the largest exposures I had to religion whilst growing up was during my schooling, and personally I would say that the schools I attended played a major role in shaping my ideologies. I think that in England, schools promote religious tolerance, and this allows individuals to choose the religious path that they want to take, whilst at the same time being accepting of others. I think that although some schools do have religious foundations, the majority of them are not linked with a religious denomination, and therefore youngsters are able to establish their own beliefs, and are free from the pressure of others. Both of the schools that I personally went to did have religious foundations, and they were consider part of the Church of England denomination. This meant that on special occasions such as at Christmas and Easter, we attended church services with the entire school, and on three mornings every week we had a full school assembly. This was a time when everyone would congregate to hear the different things that were happening throughout the school, and it was a time during which we also said prayers and sang hymns. Although this setting sounds very religious and as though certain practices were being forced on us, it was really undertaken in a very social arrangement, and personally I never really thought about the religious implication it had. School assemblies are very common in the UK, and along with most of my friends I know I went along and listened to the prayers and sang the hymns without really thinking about the meanings they held. To me, the praying and singing was just something that was part of the norm which we had to do, and I never considered that we were actually do it to thank or praise the person who was considered to be our saviour. It was almost like I was just conforming to the demands of society, yet I never truly tries to engage with and believe the stories and ideas that were being told to me.
Although we were giving our thanks to God, there were a number of children in my school who very clearly did not follow the Christian faith. For example, there were a number of boys in my class who wore a turban, and also a girl in my year who attended with a burkha. This therefore was a very clear sign that it wasn’t just Christians that were accepted into the school, and as far as I know these individuals were never picked on or singled out because they were different and followed something else.
Alongside this, I also studied religion as a specific subject whilst growing up. Throughout my years in the British school system, every child had to take religious Studies classes, and this is something mandated by the education authority as a way to deepen the knowledge of faith and religious practices. I used to spend at least two hours per week studying the topic, and during these classes I was taught about the major religions, alongside the various issues that play a role in ones faith and ideologies. As a result of this, from as young as age 6, I was shown how we all individually hold unique beliefs, and how this creates diversity which plays a primary role in our global culture. I think not only did these classes socialize me into understanding that we can believe different things, but with this, I also think it helped further establish that as humans we are all unique. It helped give me an insight into various cultures around the world, and I think that through this I was provided with an avenue to see and accept the multitude of ethnicities that reside in this globalized arena in which we live.
Although my educational environment had a huge impact on the fundamental beliefs I now hold today, my family played what I believe was the biggest influence on my religious foundations whilst growing up. A number of factors played a role in this, but I would say that it was my parent’s religious beliefs and backgrounds that were probably the primary determinants. Firstly it is important to note that my father’s side of the family are not religious at all, so therefore whilst growing up he had never attended church and wasn’t affiliated to any faith. However, my mother’s side of the family were and still are very religious people. My mother is an only child who was born in a Welsh village, before moving to England with her parents from a young age. Her parents, my grandparents attended church ever since birth and therefore, whilst growing up my mother was also taken along on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. She was a member of Sunday school, alongside a variety of the other youth organizations which were linked or associated with the Church. The problem was that she was never given the option of attending, and was forced to dress up every Sunday, no matter what was happening, and go along to the services. It is my understanding from talking to her now that because she was forced to attend from such a young age made her somewhat resent both the church and even religion itself in the long run, and this is the ultimate reason why she hasn’t attended at all since leaving home and going to university at the age of 18.
As my parents weren’t therefore following any religious practices by the time I was growing up, it was an issue that was very rarely discussed, and therefore they didn’t push me down any set religious path. Although they didn’t have much religious influence on me, the beliefs that my grandparents held did play a role however, and I think that as I look back, I probably ended up going through the same kind of resentment as my mum had done in the decades before. My grandparents have always lived close to us, and when I was first born, my parents spent 6 months living with them, before finding a home just 2 miles down the road. They obviously disliked the fact that my neither my mother or father attended church, so when I was born, they asked my parents if they could take me along, telling them of the educational importance, and almost making them feel guilty it wasn’t something they were doing themselves. My mother, not wanting to cause controversy said they could, and this started a trend where I had to go to with them on a weekly basis. They would pick me up from home, and take me along to the Sunday school which was attached to the church. Even today, I clearly remember how much I used to dread it. I got forced along, sent into a separate room to engage in activities with a number of other children, and then collected 2 hours later, after my grandparents had attended the actual church service itself. I remember how bored I used to be, and how little interest I had in spending time doing the activities which I saw as pointless. As there were no other children that were close to me in age, I had nobody to really connect and become friends with, and therefore, I used to sit down and resent the fact that my parents were at home doing far more productive things. I constantly begged my parents not to send me, and I always tried to find excuses as to why I may not be able to go. This went on for a long time, but I was lucky that I started to take up tennis seriously at a young age, and therefore once I got to the age of 8 or 9, I was away most weekends at tournaments, and consequently actually did have a legitimate excuse as to why I couldn’t attend. By the time I got to the age of about 11, I think that my grandparents got fed up of me continually saying I couldn’t go, so they eventually stopped asking. By this point, I think they eventually understood that although I had been attending for many years I was never going to be religiously inclined, and although I’m sure they were deeply disappointed at first, I have never directly felt any resentment from them.
Although I think that it is my education alongside my upbringing which has provided the primary basis for my religious ideology, I also think that our societal norms play a role. For example, as I grew up in a Western society where most people are Christian followers, I was only really ever exposed to this religion, and therefore it was the only one that was ever likely to really influence me. In this sense, I was never going to become a Muslim or a Buddhist simply because I never had any exposure to their practices, and this shows how and why certain beliefs and ideologies are typically confined within certain areas of the world. I also see that in the modern era, religion is not viewed as such an important aspect within our culture, and therefore it is no longer seen as a necessity in life. As a result of this, being a non-believer is classified as normal and acceptable in our current society, and this is unlike past generations when it was presumed everyone would follow God. Due to this, I am able to uphold the notion of atheism today, and by doing so, I am still considered and accepted within the normal boundaries of society.
Looking back now, however, I would say that fundamentally it was the constant pressure I was under to go to church every week, and the fact that I knew my parents weren’t religious and didn’t agree with the fact that I should attend, which meant that ultimately I never accepted the religious principles that were being taught to me. I was almost so stubborn that I probably never really allowed myself to listen to the ideas that were being told to me, and as I didn’t see the stories of Jesus’ life as logical or fundamentally possible either, I didn’t see the notion of God as viable. Consequently, this is the underlying reason to why I determine myself an atheist today, and therefore why I do not follow any religious practises, or believe in any set faiths either.
In the overall context of faith, I have never personally been able to fathom the idea that there is this supreme being that guides the way for us, and as I have never had a near death experience or second coming in which I have connected with a truly religious figure, I have not experienced the joys so many say it brings.
Although this describes my reasons for not being religious, I do still believe that religion has played a role and influence in my life. I feel that it is discipline which has influenced the way I think about the world, and it has allowed me to think about the different mentalities and philosophical principles that many of us hold. I think that both my schooling and the socialization mechanisms originating from my family informed my of the overall notion of faith, and this has allowed me to see the diversity that is present within the world that we live, and that individuals all follow varying paths. I would say that this concept, along with my other educational teachings has made me tolerant and accepting as a human in general, and this is why I personally see myself as someone who can understand others. As I also like to learn, I find studying various cultures as interesting, and as I have travelled to many areas of the world, I have seen and can conceptualize how culture and religion intertwine and play a role. As a result I find it fascinating how different religions play out in our global culture today, and I almost find it scary how much influence it has and how much controversy it causes.
Although I feel that the things I have been exposed to and witnessed during my life have all played a role in contributing towards my overall religious foundations and beliefs, I don’t think I will ever believe in a God like figure, or be able to closely follow any set religious worship. However, I do think that as I get older and as society progresses, I will probably end up creating more defined belief systems, and in the long run, these will provide me with greater reason and meaning within my life. In this sense I think that in the future I will learn to understand the concept of faith more, and through this I may be able to connect with the ideas that are held at its core.